4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
