i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
