Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
