I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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