can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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