two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
