I wanna passion pit in your ass
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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