I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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