Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
