I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
