Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
