would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
