you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
