I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
try to milk me bitch
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