dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
