You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
