Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize