I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
