You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
