You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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