She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
