My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
