While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
