Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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