The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
