Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
