Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
