dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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