It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
