At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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