Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
