We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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