I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
