I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize