i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
