um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
