he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
