Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
