yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
