I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
