I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
