Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
