You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
there is glitter all over my balls
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
