there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
