Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
