I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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