You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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