So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
