Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
