I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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