Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
