Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize