bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
