ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
