i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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