That's intense
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
