I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
