If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize