You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
