He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
