So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
